So, I had my first stand-up show at The Comedy Store Sunday night. I’ve done open mics and shit but never a real-deal-shebang show. And to my surprise (primarily because I’m a self-deprecating, pessimistic ass), it went swimmingly. People, like, laughed and stuff. At my jokes. A lot. It was wild. There was a slew… Continue reading Stand-Up, Love, and Jack-in-the Box, Oh My!
Twenty-five years ago today, Tim and Cyndi Smith got married and started their journey towards the greatest accomplishment of their lives: my eventual existence. But, really, it’s their big 2-5 and we are damn proud. Here are a few things we can learn from these two kids: Married People Do Have Sex Morgan, how do… Continue reading Five Things My Parents’ 25-Year Marriage Has Taught Me
So, I started a stand-up class about a month ago. Open mics. The whole shebang. It’s been wild. Here’s some crap I’ve picked up along the way. This Shit is Hard Few people excel at this absolute nonsense for a reason—it’s difficult. Making a room full of people with vastly differing levels and types of humor… Continue reading Five Things I’ve Learned from Doing Stand-Up Comedy (Yes, Seriously)
Water Slides When is the last time you slid down one of these brilliant contraptions? My most recent go-round was Friday. So, I can tell you from experience that these puppies are just as slamming as when you were five. I ask you; nay, I implore you to slide down a water slide as soon… Continue reading Seven Obscure Things To Be Thankful For Amidst The Atrociousness Of This Week
If he doesn’t excite you more than the carpool lane Picture it. 5:30pm on the 405. You’ve never seen so many vehicles in your life. Bumper to bumper doesn’t even begin to explain this kind of traffic. You’re nearing tears. Then, out of the abyss, you spot the asphalt oasis. The leftmost lane. The Chosen… Continue reading Eight Irrefutable Signs He’s Not The One
So, I was watching an ancient home video the other day. We’re talking 1994, Now That’s What I Call Music Volume One ancient. I’m sitting there watching my two-year-old self frolicking to and fro. I read a book with my dad. I sang a lullaby, shirtless, might I add, because I had gone on a… Continue reading Home Videos and the Wisdom of Justin Bieber
Time is a deceitful prick. You hear your best-friend-from-high-school-who-you-haven’t-talked-to-in-five-years-and-come-to-think-of-it-you-really-don’t-know-why’s baby brother just started his freshman year. You know, the one you dropped off at kindergarten for his mom that one time she was sick and you offered because you were part of the family and now you can’t even remember what color the front door of… Continue reading Why I Packed My Ass Up and Moved to LA
The NBA Finals are upon us. In a positively stunning twist of events, we find ourselves at the forefront of a championship series rematch between the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors. Now, ESPN does a fantastic job of covering the various ins and outs of the series. However, they’re missing one key element. And… Continue reading NBA Finals: The Fantasy Five
I’m throwing you guys a curveball today. In terribly unfamiliar fashion, I decided to collaborate with another obscure artist, Tom Knight. An extraordinarily Caucasian former baller for our alma mater, Notre Dame, followed by a brief stint as a European professional basketball star, Mr. Knight now hosts his very own podcast, The Cause, in which… Continue reading It’s a Podcast Party
Do I put this navy-and-white-striped shirt in with the whites or the darks? Also, “Dry Clean Only” is just a recommendation, right? Right? How do I like my burger cooked? A transcript of an actual conversation I had with my father approximately two weeks ago: “Medium well? So, that’s, like, no pink? What do… Continue reading Questions I Still Call to Ask My Parents
Are You Calling Me Fat? 