Let’s just dive right into it. The Holiday Season was a glorified dodgeball tournament. Target: Me. Object of Choice: Question. The inquiry, of course: “So, do you have a boyfriend?” Go back to your pumpkin pie, kids, Mama’s got this one. No, I don’t have a boyfriend. And before you say the thing about me… Continue reading The Beauty of Not Being in Love
Okay, boys. We need to talk. The four scariest words a woman can possibly utter in your direction. But it’s time. It’s time for a chat. We’re living in a weirdass time right now. Politically, socially—shit is upside down. Our pussy-grabbing president is being accused of having a sleepover with Russia. Women have been marching… Continue reading Masculinity, The Bachelor, and a Few Golics
In middle school, we had this absolutely brilliant history and religion teacher. I mean, she was the bee’s fricken knees. You’d sit in her class and actually, like, listen. You’d actually care about the subject matter. Wild, right? I can vividly remember sitting in her history class learning about slavery and the roots of racism… Continue reading Thank you, Mr. Trump
Just a fair warning here, folks. I’ve written a lot of pretty intense things on this here blog of mine. Some funny shit, too, but nonetheless. I’ve set the intensity bar pretty high. But this…this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. Eleanor Roosevelt once said that “no one can make you feel… Continue reading A Suicide Note Turned Love Letter
Back in the day, me and the homeboys (neighbor children from our cul-de-sac) would regularly mount our hogs (10-speed bikes) and head out on the open road. Most days were your average 9-5. A ride through the hood, rinse and repeat. But once in a while, business—well, business got a little complicated. Some days it… Continue reading Life in the Hood Vs. Life in the ‘Gram
Oh, but we didn’t really think I’d stay quiet about this one, did we? It may have taken me a couple days to ruminate over and mourn the events of November 8th, but fear not, the grieving gloves are off, and I’m ready to rumble. Donald Trump has been elected president of the United States.… Continue reading It’s Okay To Be Afraid
Alright, guys, I’m back. Let’s do this. So, I went back home to Grand Rapids a few weeks back to visit my family and the like, and I’ve been a tad off ever since. Not as off as, say, a 2-4 Notre Dame football team (it’s fine, I’m fine, shoot me, I’m begging you), but… Continue reading Live, Laugh, Love–Yes, I Just Typed That
So, I just got back to Los Angeles after ten days back home. Well, back in Grand Rapids, I don’t think I can call it home anymore. Which was kind of a stark realization. I mean, this is the place I grew up. This is where I learned to walk, talk. Where I went to… Continue reading The Perks of Being Homeless
Twenty-five years ago today, Tim and Cyndi Smith got married and started their journey towards the greatest accomplishment of their lives: my eventual existence. But, really, it’s their big 2-5 and we are damn proud. Here are a few things we can learn from these two kids: Married People Do Have Sex Morgan, how do… Continue reading Five Things My Parents’ 25-Year Marriage Has Taught Me
There are a few things in life at which I particularly excel. I spell like a wizard. I can eat a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts over the course of a commercial break. I have a vast knowledge of useless, random trivia. Horses can’t throw up. You may not enjoy this blog post, but, hey, at… Continue reading This One’s For The Girls
Are You Calling Me Fat? 