Bye Weeks Oh, Sweet Jesus, bye weeks. In many a football season, we dread the bye week, the loss of momentum. Saturday is the best day of the week for a reason—it’s gameday. But when you’re a 2-5 team under a coach whose face induces prolonged bouts of ire and vomit, gameday takes on a… Continue reading More Shit To Be Grateful For
So, I just got back to Los Angeles after ten days back home. Well, back in Grand Rapids, I don’t think I can call it home anymore. Which was kind of a stark realization. I mean, this is the place I grew up. This is where I learned to walk, talk. Where I went to… Continue reading The Perks of Being Homeless
So, I had my first stand-up show at The Comedy Store Sunday night. I’ve done open mics and shit but never a real-deal-shebang show. And to my surprise (primarily because I’m a self-deprecating, pessimistic ass), it went swimmingly. People, like, laughed and stuff. At my jokes. A lot. It was wild. There was a slew… Continue reading Stand-Up, Love, and Jack-in-the Box, Oh My!
So, I started a stand-up class about a month ago. Open mics. The whole shebang. It’s been wild. Here’s some crap I’ve picked up along the way. This Shit is Hard Few people excel at this absolute nonsense for a reason—it’s difficult. Making a room full of people with vastly differing levels and types of humor… Continue reading Five Things I’ve Learned from Doing Stand-Up Comedy (Yes, Seriously)
Time is a deceitful prick. You hear your best-friend-from-high-school-who-you-haven’t-talked-to-in-five-years-and-come-to-think-of-it-you-really-don’t-know-why’s baby brother just started his freshman year. You know, the one you dropped off at kindergarten for his mom that one time she was sick and you offered because you were part of the family and now you can’t even remember what color the front door of… Continue reading Why I Packed My Ass Up and Moved to LA
1. It’s called the Land of Beautiful People for a reason. The fastest, most efficient route to feeling like a soft 4 is to be surrounded by strong 9s, whose body compositions boast 70% water and 30% kale. 2. Hiking is just fancy walking. Pre-Los Angeles Morgan pictured hiking as a daunting outdoor adventure. One rife… Continue reading Eight Things the Californians Have Taught this Midwest Broad
Picture it. One week ago. I had been in Los Angeles for a little over five months, and I could already feel the metamorphosis. I have a gym membership. I bitch about traffic on the 405. I preface highways with “the”. I hike, for Christ’s sake. But there was one Los Angeles obstacle I had… Continue reading Los Angeles and the Juice Cleanse Hell
As a Midwest transplant having lived in Los Angeles for a wildly lengthy four months, I’ve garnered a few tidbits of wisdom. First and foremost, I would equate traffic to being set on fire on a daily basis. You will never get used to it, and anyone who says so should be punched in the… Continue reading Seven Tips to Avoid Wanting to Eat Glass for Breakfast in Your Mid-Twenties
Are You Calling Me Fat? 