LUUUUUUUUUCY, I’M HOME!!!!!!!!! I’m back, girls and boys! The sun hath risen! The day has come! Your girl is here! I’ve returned to the land of the living. Although I guess “returned” would imply I had been there prior to this hiatus, and that’s simply not the case. I have arrived at the land of… Continue reading She’s Back
Okay, boys. We need to talk. The four scariest words a woman can possibly utter in your direction. But it’s time. It’s time for a chat. We’re living in a weirdass time right now. Politically, socially—shit is upside down. Our pussy-grabbing president is being accused of having a sleepover with Russia. Women have been marching… Continue reading Masculinity, The Bachelor, and a Few Golics
If he doesn’t excite you more than the carpool lane Picture it. 5:30pm on the 405. You’ve never seen so many vehicles in your life. Bumper to bumper doesn’t even begin to explain this kind of traffic. You’re nearing tears. Then, out of the abyss, you spot the asphalt oasis. The leftmost lane. The Chosen… Continue reading Eight Irrefutable Signs He’s Not The One
1. The Mirror Selfie Repeat after me. Self-timer. Timer of self. Self-timer. I do not care what your bathroom looks like, nor do I ever care to know. If you’re gonna selfie, put in some effort. Christ. 2. The Selfie Combined with an Irrelevant Quote and/or Bible Verse Oh, does this baby get me going. You… Continue reading Seven Basic Bitch Behaviors That Must Be Stopped
Are You Calling Me Fat? 